THERE’S A NAME FOR THAT!

Who knew? Here I am thinking I’m being unique and quirky because I get these songs and music stuck in my head. Well I found out today there’s name for that. It’s one of the definitions of “racing thoughts”. I’m not talking about when a song or tune pops into your head and you think about it.

A racing thought is when you can’t control thinking about it. In my case, it’s like background noise. I keep hearing it or repeating it even when I’m thinking about or doing something else and it can be very annoying.

I guess it happens to everyone but most people can control it.

Hmm, does this mean I am becoming

self aware

? Stay tuned…

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE(Alice Cooper)

Wave after wave…slowly drifting (Waves/Mr. Probz)

image

Often I’ll get a line from a song stuck in my head that describes how I’m feeling. Totally random. Drifting, free form, racing thoughts.

Please quiet my mind. Still… be still.
My mind is on fire. Quench this thirst. Leaping flames. Can’t think straight. Something has to give. System overload. Man down.

KNITTING IS A REFLECTION OF MY SOUL

Knitting reflects my thoughts and feelings: good or bad, happy or sad.  If I’m feeling bad it’s reflected in my work. My stitches and tension are uneven.  I tend to drop lots of stitches and the piece looks sloppy. It’s hard to concentrate on even the simplest pattern. I knit at a much slower pace and still wind up with mistakes that need to be fixed. And just like with real life you weigh your options: how noticeable is it? Can I live with? Is it with fixing?

BLOG CONFESSIONAL

Forgive me blog space for I have sinned. I said I was going to commit and do this and then, as usual, I failed to follow through. My lack of perseverance ran deep this time. I forgot how to even sign myself back on. I thought I knew what I wanted to say or focus on but in the end, as with my life, I got overwhelmed and when that happens I shut down.

So I’m going to try again. Welcome to my blog. Hopefully it will be cohesive; sometimes it will be rambling. Always it will be open and honest. What will I write about? I’m not sure yet but I know a lot will do with knitting and how it impacts my life. It keeps me save.   Sometimes the lawyer in me may pop out and call for a “side bar” to add some background information.

One new thing that I will talk about is the lipodema. I didn’t have the diagnosis when I set up the blog; I just had the pain. I realize that as much as I would like to compartmentalize everything into nice little segments, life doesn’t work that way.

I want to have art, music, poetry and nice page designs. Another reason for not having done anything at all.

So…since you can’t learn to swim by sitting on the side off the pool. ..

SPLASH!!!

…AND NOW WE JOIN OUR STORY ALREADY IN PROGRESS…

Well here’s my first post. Not exactly what I had in mind. No great introduction, nothing pithy, but perhaps an accurate reflection of whom I am. I want everything to be just right and in so doing, often times I wind up not committing to anything at all. I find myself here again so I figured this would be as good a time as any to actually document a case in point.

I’m sitting here surrounded by multiple barely started knitting projects. I’m not brave enough yet to share how many there are.  Suffice it to say more than you can count on fingers AND toes! I thinkI know how it got this way but that’s a story for another day. Anyway, right now, I am trying to organize my madness into categories and prioritize my projects. Seems simple enough right?

So why can’t I get this done?  I know the couple I work on every day.  I have my “emergency no brainer” projects that I can go to when  I just want to chill.  I don’t know how to even describe the others; maybe that’s part of the problem.

well, so muxh for my first  post! Hey it can only get better from here 😉