Day 5

I am so angry right now. I am seething. I let my mom get to me. Yesterday she wanted to go grocery shopping and I said ok. She’s so hard headed and stubborn; traits that I have definitely inherited.

She insists on doing things and I try to be understanding; I realize she is having a hard time accepting her limitations.

We were unloading the groceries from the car. She kept insisting that she could carry all these things in her stroller. I told her just put the eggs in the basket and take your purse in and I’ll get everything else. Then I carried everything to the door and left them right inside the doorway and went back and forth.

Long story short. I start putting things away and she tells me she’ll do it. I noticed one of the egg cartons was crushed. Some of the eggs were broken. I was pissed. Not only about the fact that she doesn’t listen; she insisted that they were probably broken when she picked them up in the store. I know that was not the case.

So this morning she gets up before me and I hear her in the kitchen. She’s at the stove frying bacon. She knows, she promised me that she would not try to cook without me being there.

She called me to come to the kitchen. I told her to stop whatever she was doing and wait. She kept telling me to come here. I got up and that’s when I saw she was trying to cook.

I asked her to move away from the stove and leave the kitchen. She moved to the side but did not leave. I was so upset; it took everything in me not to yell at her.

Instead I slammed pots and pans and doors… Finally she left. Then I am not proud of what I did next. I had brought in a case of water last night and sat it on the kitchen floor. I took a steak knife to poke a hole in the plastic. Instead I just started stabbing at the case of water. End result is that I punctured holes in 7 of the bottles.

I can’t look or talk to her right now because I can’t trust my words. Right now I hear her in the kitchen trying to wash dishes probably and who knows what else. I can’t deal with her right now. I just can’t.

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